The Tender Trap: How to Attend a Wedding Without Going Broke

As Frank Sinatra sang: “And all at once it seems so nice, the folks are throwing shoes and rice…”

June is around the corner. The season of love and high spending approaches once again, where attending weddings feels less like celebrating eternal love and more like navigating a financial minefield.

In the land of “I do” and “I can’t afford this” lies a harrowing journey for the modern wedding guest. With a calendar chock-full of matrimonial obligations and a wallet that weeps at the sight of a gift registry, one must prepare for the high-stakes game of attending weddings without plunging into debt.

Below, I break down the average costs and explore ways to manage these expenses without sacrificing the enjoyment of the occasion.

The wedding-industrial complex…

Whenever I’m invited to a wedding, the promise of an open bar at the reception always provides a huge incentive for my attendance. However, amid the champagne toasts, wedding guests must absorb the expenses of attendance while also protecting what’s left of their savings accounts.

Every year, approximately two million weddings take place in the United States. If you’re invited as a guest, you’re getting drawn into an affair that’s predicated on big money. The average cost of an American wedding is astronomical, as this chart shows (with data using 2024 figures):

 

Source: FASH

Think of it as the wedding-industrial complex. For younger individuals, it’s not uncommon to find themselves attending between five to ten weddings in a single year, as friends and family members celebrate their unions. And once you reach my age group, you find yourself attending the weddings of people getting married for the second time (or third time…or more).

Being invited to a wedding is an honor and a joy, a celebration of love and commitment shared with friends and family. However, the privilege of attending can come with a hefty price tag.

From travel and accommodations to gifts and attire, the expenses associated with being a wedding guest can accumulate rapidly.

The Average Cost of Attending a Wedding

According to a recent survey by Bankrate, the average wedding guest spends more than $600 per wedding, but that’s just the average. This figure includes a variety of expenses that can easily get out of hand.

  • Airfare: For out-of-town weddings, the cost of a round-trip flight can range from $200 to $500 or more, depending on the destination.
  • Hotel Accommodations: A two-night stay in a hotel can add another $200 to $400 to your total, with prices varying based on the location and the type of hotel.
  • Gifts: The cost of bridal shower and wedding gifts can vary widely, but guests typically spend between $50 and $150 on each gift.
  • Attire: A new dress or suit, along with shoes and accessories, can cost anywhere from $100 to $300 or more.

These costs can increase significantly if the wedding involves additional events such as a bachelor or bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, or destination wedding activities.

If you’re a part of the wedding party, the financial burden increases significantly, often reaching into the thousands when considering expenses like hair, makeup, nails, dress or tuxedo rentals, and bachelor or bachelorette parties.

How can one effectively manage their budget during the wedding season, particularly when faced with multiple invitations?

For starters, create a realistic wedding season budget. Assess your overall financial situation to determine how much you can reasonably allocate to wedding-related expenses. Prioritize the weddings you wish to attend most and plan your budget around those events.

Acknowledge financial constraints. If your budget doesn’t allow you to attend every wedding, consider sending a thoughtful gift or card instead.

Be upfront with the couple about your financial limitations. Genuine friends will understand and appreciate your honesty.

Tips to Stay Within Your Budget

Despite the potential for high costs, there are several strategies wedding guests can use to stay within their budget:

  • Plan Ahead

Book Early: Secure flights and accommodations as soon as you receive the invitation. Early booking often comes with lower prices.

Share Costs: If possible, share a hotel room or car rental with other guests to split the expenses.

  • Be Gift Savvy

Stick to the Registry: Choose a gift from the couple’s registry that fits within your budget. Group gifts with other guests can allow you to give a more substantial present without bearing the full cost alone.

DIY Gifts: Consider creating a personalized, handmade gift. These can be more meaningful and cost-effective.

  • Make Smart Attire Choices

Rent or Reuse: Instead of buying a new outfit, rent formal wear or repurpose attire you already own.

Shop Sales: Look for sales or discount outlets when purchasing new attire.

  • Travel Wisely

Use Points: If you have airline miles or hotel points, use them to offset travel and lodging costs.

Alternative Accommodations: Consider staying in a budget-friendly Airbnb or with friends or family if possible.

  • Budget for Extras

Set a Budget: Determine how much you can afford to spend on the entire event and stick to it. Include a buffer for unexpected expenses.

Cut Back Elsewhere: Adjust your spending in the months leading up to the wedding. Small sacrifices in daily expenses can add up to significant savings.

Attending a wedding doesn’t have to mean financial strain. By planning ahead, making smart choices, and sticking to a budget, guests can celebrate the happy couple without overspending.

The key is to balance being a generous and thoughtful guest with your financial well-being. After all, the true value of a wedding is in the memories made and the love shared, not in the dollars spent.

As for me? I’ll always be grateful that when she decided to marry, my non-conformist daughter eloped.


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John Persinos is the editorial director of Investing Daily.

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